TODAY

Two in two days! I must have remembered blogability :)

Yuuuuummmm, Seng!

OK, back to blogging! Honestly I haven't had any thought which I deemed blog-worthy but now I've resurrected golongdistance and here I am returning to misterclive! I'm smiling if no-one else is!

Last night I attended my first Chinese wedding reception. Everyone told me it would be really different from 'western' weddings but I wasn't amazed or astounded by anything. Intrigued and interested, yes, but not amazed or astounded.

First the invitation was to the reception, not the wedding. There were abound 500 guests. I have no idea how many attended the actual service but of all the ones I knew (Sports School staff) I think only a handful had. It was held in the Grand Ballroom at the Grand Hyatt Hotel so pretty posh stuff and there were around 50 tables each with 10 places (see picture). I was told by a lot of good people that every guest was expected to contribute to the cost of the bash so that's the first difference with 'western' culture. All my advisors independently estimated the cost of each table at $1,000 so $100 pp. Add on $8 because 8 is a luck number and the expected contribution was $108. It is given in cash in a neat, little red envelope and is known as 'Ang Pow'. Why do they cover the chairs in white shrouds? It's as if they were expecting the chimney sweep to arrive any minute.

The invitation was very specific; 'Cocktail reception will start at 7.00pm. Dinner will be served at 7.30pm sharp. Your punctuality is greatly appreciated' so, in the great tradition of all countries hot, dinner started at 8.45pm :)

The bridegroom was called Desmond Tan and the bride Janine Tan so I guess the day transmogrified Mr and Ms Tan into Mr and Mrs Tan; all that for the addition of a solitary 'r'.

Now, the 'meaty' substance to this blog;the menu. Nine courses gently simmered across three hours with a very professionally produced but extremely smaltzy video of the happy couples' history and the day's service.

Grand Hyatt Delights (eau d'oeuvres in 'Franglish!)

Shark's Fin Soup with Shredded Seafood. This is apparently a great delicacy here and demonstrates that no expense is being spared. How 'shredded seafood' differs from soupyfied shark's fin is left up to your imagination.)

Canton Roasted Chicken with Walnut Topping. Historic. Absolutely yummy.

Steamed Live Garoupa with Superior Soya Sauce. My culinary advisor advises me that 'live' means 'fresh' as in 'fished out of a tank in the hotel kitchen and then despatched to the watery afterlife prior to steaming' and not 'thrown kicking (well, squirming) and screaming into a steam bath'. Judging from the look on the Garoupa's face my advisor is dispensing misleading and incorrect advise; it was not happy at contributing to the happy day, in fact it looked decidely astounded at having to appear in its mortified state. If Chinese weddings contained the phrase, 'Speak now or forever hold your peace,' (they don't) the Garoupa would have waved its sinewy fins in the air and belched 'Stop! Stop! A thousand (and eight) times stop!' However it was very, very fresh.

Braised Sliced Abalone with Shiitake Mushroom. I'm not a fan of Shiitake mushrooms but at least I now know how to spell it. Two 'i's' is not what I would have guessed. The '2I's' was a coffee bar in London during the 1950's and 1960's where many of the first wave of Brit Pop stars started their careers - Tommy Steele, Cliff Richard, Joe Brown ... and I'll bet they'd never heard of Shiitake mushrooms in those days. First time I've ever tasted abalone and they are good. Very good. They made me think the experience must be something like tasting truffles for the first time but as I haven't tasted truffles for a long time and can't remember what they tasted like I guess truffles aren't as memorable as they're made out.

Sauteed Scallop with Asparagus served in Cheese Basket. Fantastic scallops. Excellent asparagus. I could have eaten just this dish all night.

Steamed Crab Claw on Zuchini, Fungus with Dried Shrimp Sauce. Big, meaty and tasty but not historic.

Wok Fried Korean Glass Noodle with Rice Vermicelli. I can't remember what this tasted like but I do remember that it was OK. How strange. Must have been the Tiger beer taking effect.

Sweet Yam Paste with Ginko Nut in Coconut Pumkin Sauce. Can't be the Tiger beer because i remember this last course. Terific, bordering on historic. Sweet Yam paste is like vanilla custard.

Everyone received two presents, a brownie wrapped in a paper square then contained in a Grand Hyatt presentation box and a very nice, distressed paper notepad with moulded leaves and flowers and complete with 'barky' pencil (Q: What's brown and sticky? A: a stick). The bride and groom appeared at various times throughout the meal dressed in different outfits. I was told this is important to demonstrate that each is a good catch as they have more than one set of clothes. Right.

Best bit of the evening was listening to groups of guests performing the equivalent of 'Three Cheers' as the happy couple visited each table for photographs. Everyone says 'Yuuuuuuuuuuum, yuuuuum, yuum, yum, yum, yum', at the top of their voices and strings it out for as long as possible before finishing on a resounding, 'Seng!'.

Worst bit of the evening was our table didn't do it!